Stuart Wolfendale

So, on Saturday night, when the locked down inhabitants of the Metropark Hotel, Wanchai were released, the four hour closure of roads around it was really so the Chief Executive could have a bumper public relations outing and hold a press conference in the middle of the street at the junction of Fenwick and Hennessy to celebrate a triumph. It was probably a victory over not blinking in the face of nearly but not quite farce than over Death itself.

 

The event had all the circuiting handshaking you see at a victory in a general election, of the type that neither Donald nor we will ever know. In depth research here at Wolfendale Waffle Industries (WWI) has found that Hong Kong has a death rate attributable to seasonal influenza of 4.1 per 100,000 of population. When this season is over and we have buried perhaps 300 or so people, will they stop the traffic and set up the microphones again?

 

Whilst everybody was studiously overlooking the point that the Metropark is at ground zero for Whoresville, it was justifying to hear that at least one guest got locked in with his little lovely from Lockhart Road and the manager refused to give her a separate room. A relationship slipped into for the moment as liquor and lust pass through the senses, is now forced to last a week, close up. For him it would have been irritation and anxiety as he coexisted interminably with a Wanchai slapper whilst idiot wallies walked the corridors making videos for You Tube. For her, she was stuck with a punter who stopped paying after day one.

 

An incident has not been reported yet which must have taken place. Somewhere in that quarantined crowd was a local resident, happily partnered here, who slipped out in the early evening for an assignation with a visitor staying in the Metropark. “I’ll be an hour or so late at the office, darling”. “Just slipping out for a quick drink with Lawrence.” What excuses did they consider after they had failed to talk themselves out of the hotel and the mobile phone burned in their hands? How often did they rehearse the lines to patch the big hole over the seven longest days of their lives? Soon, tittle-tattle may deliver us an answer.

 

You couldnt have got banged up with a nicer crowd. Interesting to see Jerry Seinfeld was in there too.

Posted in All, Quickies