Stuart Wolfendale

A news story teetering into the April Fool Day category but run on 23^rd of the month reported that a Mainland car maker, who has some sort of franchise to build London styled black taxis, claims he has been asked by the Hong Kong government to supply the city with these vehicles to replace its existing fleets of custom built Toyota Crowns which it wants to replace next year.

It probably comes as a surprise to the Hong Kong Government that it buys taxis but the report was not spoiling a good story with any comments from them.This is the point where, if there is a trickle of truth in this, we should be saying. “Whao, cabby. Pull over here and let me out.” Let us forget the black cab’s ‘London Swings Like A Pendulum Do.’ image. Let us ask two questions so begging, they are up on their back legs with their tongues outWhy is it that for over a century, taxis have moved away from the ‘hansom’ style of cab  which you have to climb out an down from  in favour of a lower slung saloon?

Why would you want to dispose of a seriously tried, tested and comfortable Japanese saloon for a car that has been used nowhere else outside London and is being built in the Mainland?If you are having problems with these, let me help you.To get to your seat in a black cab, you step up and  in and adopt a crouching posture used in very low mining tunnels. To get out you resume the crouch then bend through the door and step down all at the same time. Tall people with bad backs, joints problems and body mass ratios that are out of kilter find all this thought provoking.You sit upright on what is little more than a tarted up bench. Whatever happens you are always being thrust forward. The brakes aircraft use on taxiways are designed after those in London black cabs- which is why they are called taxiways. The hand straps above the doors are not there for decoration.London cabs have diesel engines which run in low gear at high revs for short spurts and are incredibly noisy. Even when they are stopped and idling they sound like a persistent child with a very loud rattle. Anyone prone to motion sickness will find it kicking in as soon as black cab’s clutch is outThey have no trunks to speak of. Any baggage sits on the floor in the back with you and it certainly doesn’t sit still.A long time in a black cab is a bum clenching, neck tensing, deafening experience and the driver may tell you how lazy blacks are as well. The Toyota Crown is one of the largest, smoothest, quietest city cabs I have ever ridden in anywhere so, yes, get rid of it by all means. But if this is even being considered to ease in the best interests of some favoured Mainland businessman, then I am afraid it will read a whopping 8.1 on the Mainland Lick Scale for government and groveling taxi owners. I do hope they don’t start making midget steam engines for the MTR up there..   

  

 

 

 

 

 

Posted in All, Transport